Letting Kids Be Who God Created Them to Be
We often have grand visions for our children’s futures. We dream of their success, happiness, and the impact they will make on the world. But in our enthusiasm, we might inadvertently push our kids in directions that do not align with their God-given talents and personalities. This blog explores the importance of allowing our children to flourish as the unique individuals God created them to be.
The Beauty of Individuality
God, in His infinite wisdom, created each child with a unique set of gifts, talents, and personality traits.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:13-14
When we embrace our children’s individuality, we honor God’s creative work and allow His purpose for their lives to unfold.
Understanding Your Child’s Unique Design
To nurture your child’s God-given identity, start by observing and understanding their unique traits:
- Natural Interests: What activities does your child gravitate toward?
- Talents: In what areas does your child excel without much effort?
- Personality: Is your child introverted or extroverted? Analytical or creative?
- Spiritual Gifts: As they grow, what spiritual gifts become evident?
“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” – 1 Samuel 16:7
The Danger of Imposing Our Dreams
It’s natural to have hopes for our children’s futures. However, problems arise when we try to mold them into versions of ourselves or push them toward paths that do not align with their God-given design.
Consequences of imposing our dreams can include:
- Decreased self-esteem
- Rebellion
- Anxiety and depression
- Unfulfilled potential
Remember, God’s plans for our children may differ from our own, and that’s okay.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
The phrase “in the way he should go” can also be translated as “according to his way,” suggesting we should guide our children in alignment with their natural bent or inclination.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” – Proverbs 19:21
Nurturing Your Child’s God-Given Identity
Here are practical ways to support your child’s unique identity:
- Observe and Encourage: Pay attention to your child’s natural interests and abilities. Provide opportunities for them to explore and develop these areas.
- Celebrate Differences: If your child’s interests or personality differ from yours, celebrate these differences. Show them that diversity is beautiful and part of God’s design.
- Provide a Safe Space for Exploration: Create an environment where your child feels safe to try new things without fear of failure or judgment.
- Teach Biblical Truth About Identity: Help your child understand their identity in Christ. Teach them verses like:
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10
- Model Self-Acceptance: Show your children that you accept and value yourself as God made you. This sets a powerful example for them to do the same.
“I have called you by name; you are mine.” – Isaiah 43:1
Balancing Guidance and Freedom
While it is crucial to let kids be who God created them to be, they still need parental guidance. Here’s how to strike a balance:
- Set Boundaries: Establish clear, loving boundaries that provide structure while allowing freedom within those limits.
- Offer Choices: When appropriate, give your child options. This helps them develop decision-making skills while respecting their preferences.
- Provide Exposure: Introduce your child to various activities and experiences. This helps them discover new interests and talents.
- Guide, Don’t Push: Offer gentle guidance when needed, but avoid pushing your child into roles that do not suit them.
- Pray for Wisdom: Regularly pray for guidance in parenting and for God’s will to be done in your child’s life.
Overcoming Challenges
Letting your child be who God created them to be is not always easy. Here are some common challenges and how to address them:
1. Societal Pressure
- Challenge: Society often has specific ideas of success that may not align with your child’s gifts.
- Solution: Teach your child to value God’s opinion above society’s.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” – Romans 12:2
2. Comparison with Siblings or Peers
- Challenge: It is tempting to compare your child to others, especially if they develop at different rates.
- Solution: Celebrate each child’s unique journey. Remind them that God has a special plan for each person.
3. Your Own Unfulfilled Dreams
- Challenge: You might be tempted to live vicariously through your child.
- Solution: Recognize and address your own unfulfilled desires. Find healthy ways to pursue your interests without burdening your child.
4. Fear for Their Future
- Challenge: You may worry that your child’s interests won’t lead to a stable future.
- Solution: Trust in God’s plan. Teach your child to seek God’s guidance in all decisions.
The Joy of Watching Your Child Flourish
When we allow our children to be who God created them to be, we open the door to incredible joy and fulfillment – both for them and for us as parents.
Benefits include:
- Increased confidence and self-esteem
- Greater sense of purpose
- Stronger faith as they see God working in their lives
- Deeper parent-child relationships based on trust and respect
Story:
Mark always struggled in traditional academic settings but showed a remarkable ability to connect with and care for animals. His parents supported his interest, even when relatives questioned the practicality of it. Today, Mark runs a successful veterinary practice and uses his skills on mission trips, providing care for livestock in underprivileged communities.
Conclusion: Trusting God’s Design
Letting kids be who God created them to be requires trust – trust in your child, trust in yourself as a parent, and ultimately, trust in God’s perfect design and plan.
Remember, your child is not a blank slate for you to write upon, but a unique masterpiece created by God. Your role is to help uncover and nurture the beauty that is already there.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11
This week, take time to observe your child without any preconceived notions. What unique traits do you notice? How can you encourage these God-given characteristics? Share your insights with your spouse or a trusted friend, and commit to nurturing your child’s unique identity.
Remember, when we let our kids be who God created them to be, we not only honor God’s design but also set the stage for our children to live fulfilling lives that glorify Him.
